HYDE PARK — I watched an episode of Mission: Impossible with my 11-year-old yesterday.  It was 1968 and they had to trick a bad guy into believing it he’d been frozen for 12 years.  So they froze him and he “woke up in 1980″.

It was great to see what 1980 looked like from 1968.  There [...]]]>

HYDE PARK — I watched an episode of Mission: Impossible with my 11-year-old yesterday.  It was 1968 and they had to trick a bad guy into believing it he’d been frozen for 12 years.  So they froze him and he “woke up in 1980″.

It was great to see what 1980 looked like from 1968.  There were rocket cars, flat screen TVs, lots of buttons to push, and no more money. It was all just cards.  But, yea, there was still an attractive woman to take your order and/ or your bedpan.

I often wonder how far short we have fallen of my grandmothers’ sense of what the future would hold? 

Last week a lady came in for a visit,  she’s been laid off while on maternity leave and had been told convincingly by someone that ‘mothers never get their good jobs back’.

That winds me up.

She’ll need flexible hours and maybe short weeks, but she’s ready to work… and yet she’s convinced the world is not ready for her. 

There must be a better way. 

We’ve got the flat screen TVs, the Internet, we’ve even got cars that go like rockets.  But 51% of the population think they can’t work and have a family.

/df

HOME — I used to have a Klingon cookbook.  No, it was Lt. Uhura’s Cookbook.  But there was Klingon it it.  That was in university.  More than 20 years ago.

I never cooked anything from it.

Are you kidding?

But I moved it from dorm to dorm and house to house.  I thought its simple existence was funny [...]]]>

HOME — I used to have a Klingon cookbook.  No, it was Lt. Uhura’s Cookbook.  But there was Klingon it it.  That was in university.  More than 20 years ago.

I never cooked anything from it.

Are you kidding?

But I moved it from dorm to dorm and house to house.  I thought its simple existence was funny enough.  (Yes, not everyone shared my sense of humour then either.)

However, my daughter has just brought the world of Fan Fiction to my attention.  It seems that Star Trek was even a pivotal modern outburst of it.  Followed by Star Wars… And today people like Stephenie Meyer and JK Rowling, for the Twilight and Harry Potter series, even actively encourage it, saying they read it.

It’s a really interesting phenomenon.  And not one without it’s legal and copyright implications.

So my question today is: Why don’t brands do it more?

People write Star Trek cookbooks because they are obsessed with the show.  And one assumes they buy other people’s Star Trek cookbooks.  But what about great brands and companies? 

Imagine some of the great BP fiction that could come out of the Deepwater Horizon situations?!

Okay, maybe that’s not the best example.

But what about other, more day-to-day examples?

I think it’s a heck of an idea.

I think I’ll talk to some clients about it this week.

/df

IN MY KITCHEN — I was just thinking last week that triathlons and marathons have become the new mid-life crisis.  And then I read the story in the Sunday Times Style Magazine: “The rise of the IRON MAN”.

Turns out that triathlons are the fastest growing mass-participation sport in the UK.  The article cites Vernon Kay, [...]]]>

IN MY KITCHEN — I was just thinking last week that triathlons and marathons have become the new mid-life crisis.  And then I read the story in the Sunday Times Style Magazine: “The rise of the IRON MAN”.

Turns out that triathlons are the fastest growing mass-participation sport in the UK.  The article cites Vernon Kay, Eddie Izzard, David Walliams and Matthew McConaughey (US readers are going: ‘phew, one I recognise!’)

Some people say that it’s all about the gadgets and the expensive kit.  Body mass sensors and £5,000 bikes. But I don’t buy that. I think it has a lot more to do with the new ‘mid-life’.

“This is my last break for freedom,” one punter says.

“It’s the equivalent of being off my head in the Ministry of Sound in 1991,” says another.

What really strikes a chord for me is when another person interviewed in the Sunday Times says “Modern life is emasculating.”

These sporting events offer a host of recognisable words:

• objectives
• stretch goals
• key performance indicators
• strategy
• milestones
• challenges
• achievements
• assessment
• competition
• pressure
• stress

Those sound familiar, don’t they?  They’re all business terms that probably have no business being used in business!

We have tried to turn business into a sport. And stolen the terminology of athletes and warriors to talk about it. But, when compared to real physical challenge, endurance and survival, the language sounds silly.

Who are our business heroes?

• Warren Buffett
• Lakshmi Mittal
• Jack Welch
• Sergio Marchionne

And what do they do all day?

They sit around reading stuff and talking to people.  That’s not exactly the adventure stories we started life dreaming about.

/df

HOME — I’ve been wearing my dad’s tie all week.  It’s a university tie from Bishop’s University outside Montreal.  My dad was president of the University earlier this century.  He was always quietly dapper without being too flash.  [Okay, the man-bag he carried while we lived in Paris was a bit cutting edge.]

There’ve been some [...]]]>

HOME — I’ve been wearing my dad’s tie all week.  It’s a university tie from Bishop’s University outside Montreal.  My dad was president of the University earlier this century.  He was always quietly dapper without being too flash.  [Okay, the man-bag he carried while we lived in Paris was a bit cutting edge.]

There’ve been some nice things written about my dad in Canadian papers last week.

By today’s standards 72 is quite a young age to die.

Like all dads he was my hero.  He did amazing things as a political journalist, a foreign correspondent, a history buff, a francophile, an African aficionado, an actor and someone who loved a good laugh.

I wish you could have met him.

/df

LONDON — There’s no sense bring timid about it: Let’s save the world.

Everyone seems to agree that the planet is in dire shape. And we are making it worse father than better.  Al Gore and now John Prescott (sic) are evangelising about the need for action.

But there’s one important thing that’s missing…

…And I believe that [...]]]>

LONDON — There’s no sense bring timid about it: Let’s save the world.

Everyone seems to agree that the planet is in dire shape. And we are making it worse father than better.  Al Gore and now John Prescott (sic) are evangelising about the need for action.

But there’s one important thing that’s missing…

…And I believe that we can provide it: (I know I’ll get some rude emails for this… But bring them on!)

No one knows what to do.

Seriously.  No one knows what to do.  Do we fly less?  Do we eat less meat?  Do we all buy electric cars?  What?

I am convinced that people can and would do it.  It’s called “engagement” and “behaviour change” and that’s what we specialise in.  The problem with telling people what to do more of or less of is that commercial interests get in the way:

- stop driving petrol cars?  What would Vauxhall do!
- stop eating meat? What about our farmers!
- stop burning fuel? Are you a closet nuke!?

There are things that can be done… And there can be willingness to do it.  But people need to know what and where.

In Canada this summer I was astounded by the lengths to which people go, every day, to do the right thing for the environment.  Unfortunately Canada is not the problem!

So, this is what we need:

- a programme that can make decisions that are clear of national and business interests
- support to pay for the research, the information and the national campaigns
- the skills to do it (our hands are up!)

Easy, right.

You bet.

/df

CRANBERRY HIGHWAY — The flags around Cape Cod are at half mast.  A boy from around here died in Afghanistan last week.

On the way down through New Hampshire last week we shared a dodgy truck stop with a bus full of GIs.  All unfailingly polite and… to a 43-year-old like me… young, small and [...]]]>

CRANBERRY HIGHWAY — The flags around Cape Cod are at half mast.  A boy from around here died in Afghanistan last week.

On the way down through New Hampshire last week we shared a dodgy truck stop with a bus full of GIs.  All unfailingly polite and… to a 43-year-old like me… young, small and fragile.

A few months ago we were invited out to a briefing by the Army for some work that I think I’m not meant to talk about.  For me, that visit was alarming and inspiring in many ways.  The forces are probably the most enduring and historical “organisation” that many of our countries have.

We simultaneously hold them close and keep them at a great distance.  Most cars in the USA have metallic, symbolic yellow ribbons on them.  But only certain families will admit to having people in the forces, or hasten to say that it’s a desirable pursuit… an admirable enterprise.

And there’s no question but that it is.

At the same time, I am convinced that the military has the same communication issues — but more — than the other great organisations we have consulted to.  The BPs, HPs, DHL, Rio Tinto, Sony Ericsson, etc.  All organisations have difficulties with their communications in the 21st century.  The deal has changed.  People don’t work for money and the privilege of a weekend every 5 days.  They want more.

So, in many respects you could say that the forces have some catching up to do.  They are not as sophisticated as many multinationals in their internal communications and big project change management.

However, there is one area (at least) where any publicly listed big business would love to have the clarity of the forces: values.

What are we here for?  How do we behave?  What makes us special and different?

Values are what hold the forces (army, air force, navy) together and they are awfully good at them.

Businesses are only just catching up.

/df

“MySpace today announced its intent to restructure its international operations and refocus personnel around a smaller number of territories, while retaining a robust global consumer presence.”

That’s what News Corporation’s MySpace said in their press release yesterday.  According to the Flesch-Kincaid reading ease measures that sentence requires about 15 years of formal education to understand it.  The average age of [...]]]>

“MySpace today announced its intent to restructure its international operations and refocus personnel around a smaller number of territories, while retaining a robust global consumer presence.”

That’s what News Corporation’s MySpace said in their press release yesterday.  According to the Flesch-Kincaid reading ease measures that sentence requires about 15 years of formal education to understand it.  The average age of a MySpace user is hard to be entirely sure of (younger users have always needed to sign in as 17 or older and many are listed as 99 years old), but to assume that they all have the education required to make sense of this seems ambitious.

In fact, assuming anyone has the interest to read it, is a stretch.

Along with the people who write policies for insurance companies, brochures for banks, and nutrition information on cereal boxes, MySpace now seems to have joined the brigade of businesses who obfuscate to avoid saying things they don’t want to.

In tennis it would be a penalty for time wasting.

Statements like those written above are most likely written for the business media.  Journalists and analysts are in the business of decoding this kind of business-speak.  So the headlines said:

Website axes two-thirds of international jobs

MySpace to lay off a further 300 international staff

I think they might have got a better result if they’d made the information simpler.  Maybe focused on talking in ways that their users might recognise?

/df

TOTTENHAM COURT ROAD – I don’t know any organisation that has not been affected by the global recession of 2008/09.  Whether it’s layoffs, sell-offs or even surprising growth, the deal between companies and their employees has changed.

It used to be that companies had loyalty to their employees.  But the idea of a job for life and [...]]]>  

TOTTENHAM COURT ROAD – I don’t know any organisation that has not been affected by the global recession of 2008/09.  Whether it’s layoffs, sell-offs or even surprising growth, the deal between companies and their employees has changed.

It used to be that companies had loyalty to their employees.  But the idea of a job for life and a gold watch at the end of it died at least two decades ago.  However employees have continued to have a great allegiance to their employers.  More, I believe, than most employers deserve.  And that is starting to change.

I was cornered last night by a high-flying corporate banker.  He wanted to know how I had had the courage to start my own business.  Was it as hard as it looked?  Wouldn’t the big guys crush you?  How do you get your payroll done?  How do you do your IT?  Etc.

What was most remarkable was that a guy who has done very well by working in global businesses saw no real link holding him there… except fear.

Big organisations cannot afford to have people come and go too easily.  There are coercive ways of keeping them, but the only ways that really work are to treat them well, and provide an exciting environment and opportunities for them.

I think that is what has caused the recent rush of businesses looking again at their corporate values.

What does this business really stand for?  What can people expect when dealing with us?  Be they customers, partners, governments, employees, charities, anyone?

Values are too often trotted out as what we call ‘corporate wallpaper’.  You can see them wrapped around columns, on walls in meeting rooms, sometimes even on building passes.

But without definitions and a clear understanding of what they mean — and what they don’t — people have no real use for them.

So, at a time when businesses are not faring so well in the esteem of their employees, decent, tangible, actionable values are a way that companies see of being more consistent and more coherent.

Values can help keep your business focused.

/df

My friend is a cheery and jokey sort and has a disposition so different to her mother’s, the nature/nurture debate [...]]]> FROM THE DESK OF EMMAJANE — Walking into a friend’s workplace recently, nothing hit me harder than then dark grey, medium grey and medium-light grey walls and carpets. Many of the employees were wearing grey too.

My friend is a cheery and jokey sort and has a disposition so different to her mother’s, the nature/nurture debate beckons every time I see her.

“We had to tidy up our desks the other day”, she said as she gathers her things from her desk. “Management thought all the pictures of pets and family made the place look a bit messy.”

Right.

Words like ‘exciting’, ‘fun’, ‘family’, ‘ambitious’ and lots of other lovely sounding words appear on the company Intranet and website. The brand itself has a colourful logo. The recruitment advertising (so I hear) is colourful and has lovely, smiley people in it.

The problem is that the external employer brand hasn’t been translated at all internally. So the employee brand is off key the minute an employee sits at their desk.

There’s nothing around the place that tells you where you are. You might as well be in one of their competitor’s offices. The company values contradict the behaviours going on. Companies that do this well, are often incredibly successful. No employee at Google thinks they’re working for Facebook when they’re at the Googleplex.

If they’re employing talent like my good friend – then all the processes and initiatives around attracting the best people are obviously working. But keeping the talent and impressing other people is equally as important. People like me, (the visitor), customers, shareholders and even ex-employees – we can all smell false wallpaper immediately. All of us form an opinion of that brand. Brands can look great on the surface – but scratch one inch below and you’re a bit disappointed. The employer brand has to be built inside out.

Granted, hints and tips from Elle Decoration aren’t going to improve your employer brand overnight. It takes good internal communication, a sound employee proposition, reward and recognition, training, learning and development and so on. But as a starting point, employee brand opinion is very emotional and people need to feel part of something, regardless of whether they are the employee or consumer. Building a brand on wholesome common purposes and values is a great start. People just need to see them for themselves and believe in it too.

Management have to take the words a brand is built on and make them real inside. Only then can they be valid, sincere and actually true.

[Emmajane Johnson is a consultant at Able and How.]