IN MY KITCHEN — I was just thinking last week that triathlons and marathons have become the new mid-life crisis.  And then I read the story in the Sunday Times Style Magazine: “The rise of the IRON MAN”.

Turns out that triathlons are the fastest growing mass-participation sport in the UK.  The article cites Vernon Kay, [...]]]>

IN MY KITCHEN — I was just thinking last week that triathlons and marathons have become the new mid-life crisis.  And then I read the story in the Sunday Times Style Magazine: “The rise of the IRON MAN”.

Turns out that triathlons are the fastest growing mass-participation sport in the UK.  The article cites Vernon Kay, Eddie Izzard, David Walliams and Matthew McConaughey (US readers are going: ‘phew, one I recognise!’)

Some people say that it’s all about the gadgets and the expensive kit.  Body mass sensors and £5,000 bikes. But I don’t buy that. I think it has a lot more to do with the new ‘mid-life’.

“This is my last break for freedom,” one punter says.

“It’s the equivalent of being off my head in the Ministry of Sound in 1991,” says another.

What really strikes a chord for me is when another person interviewed in the Sunday Times says “Modern life is emasculating.”

These sporting events offer a host of recognisable words:

• objectives
• stretch goals
• key performance indicators
• strategy
• milestones
• challenges
• achievements
• assessment
• competition
• pressure
• stress

Those sound familiar, don’t they?  They’re all business terms that probably have no business being used in business!

We have tried to turn business into a sport. And stolen the terminology of athletes and warriors to talk about it. But, when compared to real physical challenge, endurance and survival, the language sounds silly.

Who are our business heroes?

• Warren Buffett
• Lakshmi Mittal
• Jack Welch
• Sergio Marchionne

And what do they do all day?

They sit around reading stuff and talking to people.  That’s not exactly the adventure stories we started life dreaming about.

/df

DISTRICT LINE — I love the way that the mainstream of public discourse can so easily reject different approaches as silly.  I didn’t see the show on John Lewis last Wednesday — Inside John Lewis.  A friend of mine did though.  And he says they were painted as a bunch of numpties.  And a bunch of [...]]]>

DISTRICT LINE — I love the way that the mainstream of public discourse can so easily reject different approaches as silly.  I didn’t see the show on John Lewis last Wednesday — Inside John Lewis.  A friend of mine did though.  And he says they were painted as a bunch of numpties.  And a bunch of numpties who don’t know how they’ve got so lucky.  Which is ridiculous, obviously.

It is, right!?

You’re not so sure?

One of the great charms of Great Britain is the complexity of its history and the variety of narratives that can emerge.  In this century, so far, we are all committed to the Dickens narrative:

• We used to work in coal mines, our bosses were mean and nasty, but the world was worse,
• Then the benevolence of man created commercial enterprise — overseen by faceless gods in expensive shoes — who made everything right.

It’s a capitalist fairy tale that insists that the Corporation is what built Britain (and therefore the world).

But the truth is far less clean and consistent.  Companies like JLP and Cadbury and The Co-op did it very differently.  Their approach to business was closer to socialist than to our capitalist democracy.  And they succeeded.

We read in Fast Company and other coffee-table management magazines that ABC Co offers free dog washing to employees who show up on a Sunday, or all you can drink from the booze cart on a Friday afternoon.  But when compared to the approach of a John Lewis Partnership or a Co-op that is as parsimonious and fatuous as could be.

Maybe John Lewis are not numpties.  Maybe they’ll still be here when the rest of us have folded up our tents.  Maybe we can learn something from them.

/df

DISTRICT LINE — The newly appointed Lord made a bit of a storm in Parliament with his maiden speech.  Perhaps any minimalism in grace and nuance will inadvertently help our regular politicians, by showing how hard it is to speak without edits, teleprompters and producers. 

Describing his views on small business he said:

“I have also seen [...]]]>

DISTRICT LINE — The newly appointed Lord made a bit of a storm in Parliament with his maiden speech.  Perhaps any minimalism in grace and nuance will inadvertently help our regular politicians, by showing how hard it is to speak without edits, teleprompters and producers. 

Describing his views on small business he said:

“I have also seen some poor examples of businesses that simply will not succeed, even in the best of times. The reality is that, however good the help provided by government, some businesses simply do not work. Government and banks cannot just write blank cheques to anyone who thinks that they have a good idea.”

And that’s the basis of the argument.  Essentially, if you don’t succeed it’s likely that your idea was rubbish.  And that winds me up a bit.  Because it sounds like the ‘American dream’ which is often translated as ‘if you work hard enough, you will succeed.’  And my experience, after working in government, in large businesses and in small business is that there are many things that government and large businesses do to keep small business down.

Which is why I like this second quote from Lord Sugar of Clapton:

“In Britain, small businesses have a lot to be proud of. They employ over 50 per cent in the private sector and they generate as much turnover as big business-in fact, 99 per cent of all businesses are SMEs. The credit crisis has pushed our SMEs to the limits. Some companies have struggled, not because of failure in business, but because of the tougher credit conditions.”

And in many ways it contradicts the quote above from the same speech.  I have not seen any real effort made to help small businesses in a coordinated or concerted way.  There’s lots of nice rhetoric, but the way that Lord Sugar describes small businesses is pretty much the way they feel treated: ‘Do this!  No, no sorry, do that! Woops, you screwed up.  Must be your fault.”

The fiscal, judicial, regulatory and bureaucratic systems are all stacked against smaller businesses.  Rules seem to be written for organisations with means, access to expertise and advisers, and an institutional history in doing this stuff.  Small businesses need to negotiate a maze of complexity that no regular business person has all the experience to master.

In analysing his own speech later, Sugar said:

“During the ceremony, I only got a mild ‘hear, hear’ – mostly from the Labour lot, but they’ll like me in the end.”

I will stand in front of the Palace of Westminster itself and give him a mighty round of ‘hear, hear’ myself if he can address the real, structural issues that are holding small business back. 

No one wants something for nothing.  A proper helping hand to succeed would be good enough.

/df

HOME — I do like to watch shows that I shouldn’t like.  Or shows that seem like they’ll be good for you.  And Ian Hislop’s Changing of the Bard about the ‘great’ British tradition of Poet Laureate is one of those.

I didn’t know much about the role.  Not as much as I thought I did [...]]]>

HOME — I do like to watch shows that I shouldn’t like.  Or shows that seem like they’ll be good for you.  And Ian Hislop’s Changing of the Bard about the ‘great’ British tradition of Poet Laureate is one of those.

I didn’t know much about the role.  Not as much as I thought I did anyway.  But now I do.  And I think I am uniquely qualified.

I am British.  (Just.)

I am definitely a more personable character than Ted Hughes.  I have better facial hair than Tennyson – by far.  But that may not be enough.

I also love poetry.  And in a different time, when one could make a living writing verse, I would have jumped in with both feet.  The fact that I can’t spell shouldn’t hold me back.  (Try reading Shakespeare in the original.)  And nor should the fact that my earliest poetic musing were in French.  (One of our first Poet Laureate’s patrons couldn’t even speak English.)

But what a job!  I’d love it.

So, without wanting to launch a reality-TV style competition for the next naming… a little less than 10 years from when the role will come up again… here’s my submission for your consideration.

Take your time.  We’ve got a few years yet.

On Royal soil

What the hell happened to our life in the noughties?
Politicians have once again lost their senses
And we can’t stop the Tele from talking expenses
Let’s flush them out like pheasant for Royal retirees

Chung, clack, BOOOM!
Chung-a, chung-a, clack… BOOOM!
Squaak, flutter / flutter… plunk.

What does the new world order hold for Britain?
Noble bankers we were, but now it seems we’re not
What do we do with the suits we have bought?
The right to dress up’s in the Constitution we haven’t written

‘Point of order!’ BOOOM!
‘Mister Speaker, sir…?’ BOOOM!
‘Where’d they all go?’ Go… go…

I know.  It’s amazing.  What am I doing sitting behind this desk?

/df

LONDON — It’s a funny old world we live in.  The Chinese state aluminium giant Chinalco just failed in its quite generous attempt to help Anglo-Australian Rio Tinto out of a massive great hole.  And where do we go to see the sense of remorse?  Not to this ‘management’ section of the website.  Although the [...]]]>

LONDON — It’s a funny old world we live in.  The Chinese state aluminium giant Chinalco just failed in its quite generous attempt to help Anglo-Australian Rio Tinto out of a massive great hole.  And where do we go to see the sense of remorse?  Not to this ‘management’ section of the website.  Although the website has been jazzed up recently… there is no noticeable sign of personality.  And business stories these days are increasingly personal interest stories.

It’s been a bad run for China and its various state enterprises.

In 2005 the China National Offshore Oil Corp. (CNOOC) tried to buy the California petrol business Unocal from Chevron.  All was agreed with everyone who needed to know.  Except the politicians got involved:

“As the world energy landscape shifts, we believe that it is critical to understand the implications for American interests and most especially, the threat posed by China’s governmental pursuit of world energy resources.”

…say some geniuses in the US Congress. 

The deal dies.  A Congressman again crows that the failure is:

“…good news for the free market”

An analyst says about the Chinese business:

“They had no game plan.  I don’t know if they had bad advice or did not listen or if the bureaucracy just couldn’t move fast enough.  CNOOC is at a disadvantage in a fast-paced market.”

Whatever it was, it’s not good, is it?

Same goes for the Haier Group’s bid for the Maytag Corporation the same year. 

Only the Lenovo purchase of IBM’s computer business stands out as a deal that has gone through.  But now that the IBM brand is being rolled back and Lenovo is coming through, what has happened to the brand?

Lenovo reports fourth quarter loss

Ouch.

Not surprising then that news that Sichuan Tengzhong Heavy Industrial Machinery Co. will buy GM’s Hummer has been met with scepticism… even in China.

What is China missing?  I am not close enough to know with any real certainty.  I know the Chinese are well served by western bankers (they’ve even invested in a few).  They have investor relations teams in the west too.  But I have a few suggestions of what they might be missing.

1. A process and plan for change management, stakeholder relations and communications.

2. A single, simple set of messages for their organisational communications.

3. A group of people (Chinese or not) with the skills and tools who are able and ready to talk on their behalf.

4. The ability to get on the front foot with the questions that you just know the western media and politicians are going to ask.

There is no doubt in my mind but that the Chinese will change the global rules of business in the decades to come.  It may not even be gradual, and it will definitely be shocking to many people in business.  But today there is still some work to do.  China must learn how to take better advantage of the rules on the pitch that they’re visiting.

/df

BISHOPSGATE — I have just had a nice meal with a partner in the consultancy Totem Hill.  They’re one of a few groups that we’ve been talking to about the “professionalisation” of our industry.

What does that mean?  Apart from being worth a lot of points in Scrabble?  Two things:

1. Our clients often don’t know they [...]]]>

BISHOPSGATE — I have just had a nice meal with a partner in the consultancy Totem Hill.  They’re one of a few groups that we’ve been talking to about the “professionalisation” of our industry.

What does that mean?  Apart from being worth a lot of points in Scrabble?  Two things:

1. Our clients often don’t know they need us, and if they can figure out that they need the kind of help we provide, they don’t know where to go to get it.

2. Second there are quite a lot of successful businesses in the market with a single, clear solution… that they’ll apply to any illness you think you might have. (We’re not like that.)

I’d like to work to increase understanding of management consulting in communications and change.  And there are a bunch of firms out there I’d be happy to pitch against more often.  Seriously.  If that meant that we were all pitching more often, it would be better for all of us.

/df

Sun’s up, uh-hun, looks okay, And the world survives until another day, And I’m thinking about eternity. Some kind of ecstasy got a hold of me.

Had another dream about lions at the door, They weren’t half as frightening as they were before, And I’m thinking about eternity. Some kind of ecstasy got a hold of [...]]]>

Sun’s up, uh-hun, looks okay,
And the world survives until another day,
And I’m thinking about eternity.
Some kind of ecstasy got a hold of me.

Had another dream about lions at the door,
They weren’t half as frightening as they were before,
And I’m thinking about eternity.
Some kind of ecstasy got a hold of me.

And I’m wondering where the lions are…

Bruce Cockburn
Wondering where the lions are

LONDON — It is perhaps a funny time to be talking about a growing business and competition.  But there are probably a lot of people who read this who understand what this is all about.  Organisational communications is increasingly important in businesses.  Not just in the context of what is happening at this moment, but it has been growing for many years now.

The only challenge is that many companies do not know how they can make things better.  There are lots of people suggesting things.  There is a ‘product’ for just about every ill.  But often you feel that the remedy would have been the same, regardless of the illness.  So I am greatly encouraged to have competition.  Not just from some of the great places I have worked, but also from other smaller organisations.  I have seen interesting stuff being done in Australia recently.  I have read some compelling books from US and Canadian academics.  And I have been just down the street to parties hosted by really strong competitors.

A rising tide raises all boats.  But what I still think is missing is a broad view of what our business is all about, and some kind of context that allows our potential customers and organisations broadly to see what kind of organisational communications they might need to fix there ills.  And then the power and skills to do it.

There is enough work to be done for hundreds of firms like ours.

/df